A cranky Julian Schnabel, in track-pants and blue-tinted glasses, leapt onto the stage on Wednesday night to defend his friend Eva Chow, who was giving a speech at a dinner party honouring her husband, the artist-restaurateur Michael Chow. Scolding the boisterous crowd, Schnabel said: “Hello? Hello? Okay, I know this is a cocktail party, but how about a little respect?” When Eva finished, the artist grew even more agitated as he tried to deliver his own introduction. “Can we be quiet for just about five minutes, maybe? Maybe the world would be a better place. Anyway, my goal—excuse me?” This went on for several minutes while Schnabel searched his phone for a passage of text by an art historian whose name escaped him. Naturally, the crowd again grew impatient, leading Schnabel to resort to shaming: “This is an art fair—it’s supposed to be about art.” In the end, the bartenders stopped serving drinks and the event’s publicist paced the room silencing anyone who dared utter a word.